“Can I get…?”
“It’s only (insert amount here) …”
“If I do (random chore), can I buy…?”
“Can I?”
“Can I?”
“Can I?”
“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!”
That last one was my reply after a seemingly endless string of “Can I’s”.
It is enough to drive a parent to the breaking point. My child has the “Can I’s” no matter what store it is. She will find something, usually many things that she wants and repeat it over and over and over…well, you get the idea.
I am sure that many parents can relate to this interaction. I feel like I am constantly saying “No” throughout the store. And I am sure that after a while, I am THAT parent. Yes, you have seen it in the stores too.
After the constant barrage of requests, I get annoyed, mad and will say it in a more than stern voice. Even a yell at times, if needed.
It is such a struggle and makes shopping, even running small errands a nightmare, so I try to do them by myself, which is hard as a single parent.
But I also will not just give in (all the time) so I have no problem calling out my child in a store. I have let her know this since she was young. I have no problem yelling at the top of my lungs or picking her up and leaving a store in a tantrum.
I do not embarrass that easy. I do not care if others look at me. That is not my problem. Raising my child is my main concern.
She will have to one day be independent and hopefully, she will be successful, but I hope that she learns that it is not always easy.
All those things that she asks, pleads, begs, and pouts about cost money…my hard-earned money.
These things that she wants to buy add up little by little. It is $2.00 for this, and this ONLY costs $5.00, and $10.00 is not a lot (in her eyes) for whatever the trending item is.
So I was trying to think of a way to work this into a money lesson and also as a way to stop the constant barrage of “Can I’s”.
I started at the beginning of March. I told her that I am giving her $30.00 that she can spend on things that she wants to buy throughout the month.
Cue the open mouth gasp…which is what she did.
But, I told her, once it is gone, it is gone, until the beginning of April. I told her it is not about food, snacks, or clothing. It is just for the extra stuff that she is constantly wanting.
This is how it has gone so far. Today is March 14th and she is done, as of today. The last of the money was spent today. I told her with each purchase how much she had left. I tried to convince her to think about the purchase before she bought it and then I let her know the amount that is left as she buys things.
This is a social experiment and teachable moment (hopefully). The results are not in yet.
Now will come the hard part. The rest of the month. Two and a half weeks left with no money to spend.
Ideally, I will be able to shop with my child and when she asks for something, I will remind her that she has spent all of her allotted money for the month.
She will wistfully remember this, heave a big sigh and say, “Oh yea, I have to wait until April. Okay, Mom.”
And we will continue on our way.
Won’t that be nice? I will have begun the lessons about budgeting money. Ideally, I said.
Since we are mid-March now, I will have to follow-up in a future blog post about how the rest of the month went.
Hopefully, the amount of begging, pleading, whining and crying over things in the store will have cut down dramatically or I will have pulled out all my hair. (My hairdresser would not like that, as I am one of her longest customers).
It will be a start either way. She is getting older and needs to learn these lessons anyway, right? Eventually, she will get a job, spend too much money, make those money mistakes we all made and learn the lessons either way.
But for now, if she gets a little perspective, a little insight and understanding about budgets, that will do…for now…
Here is hoping!
What about you? Do your children get an allowance, or do they request things constantly? Do you give in when they are making a scene in a store? Have you already started your children on lessons about money and making it last?
Comment below and share with us. What have you used? What has worked? What has failed?
I just don’t bring them shopping!
It’s cheaper and peaceful.
Well, that would be great if I had the husband to leave them with or if she was old enough to stay home alone. I’ll just have to do them all while she is at school. Have to see if this will actually work too. So far, saying you are out of money has worked over this past weekend. Thanks for the advice!
Had the same problem with my son. I finally put $3.00 in the glove compartment each week and when it was gone, oh well. It did work. I also used the four envelope system with one marked short term spending, one marked long term spending, another savings and the fourth was for charity. That work very well. Good luck.
I like the idea of the envelopes. I’ll remember that for a future idea. For now, hopefully this will stop the incessant asking. And your $3.00 is similar with the rate of inflation since your son was young to my $30.00 for the month now. Ha! Again, we will see if this works. Thanks for the advice and idea!
This was such a fun read and it gave me some great ideas for Sofia!
It’s rather comical to me because I did this to my mother non stop as a kid. Though, looking back, I see how tough that must have been on her.
I think the monthly upfront allowance is a brilliant idea. Unless of course you find yourself getting all the shopping done the first two weeks of each month and hiding out after the allowance runs out in case she throws a fit. Haha.
Nevertheless, creative and I’m willing to bet, effective.
I say well done.
-Jim
The jury is still out on the effective part, but we will see. This weekend when I said she had spent all of her money, she didn’t argue, which is a good sign. You’ll have to give Sofia some years first, most young kids wouldn’t be able to think that far ahead. Not positive that mine will be able to handle it either. Hopefully, over time, she’ll get better at not trying to spend all of her money in the first couple of days. The biggest expense this month was a gallon of glue to make slime. That took out half her money for the month.
Great idea to teach her about money! And you are more generous than I would be 😊
Hopefully, it will help. At 12 years old, I had a paper route at 6 am each morning. I spent most of my money on video games at the corner store. Apparently, allowances are now a dollar per year of age. I didn’t want to go up to $40.00. Started at $30.00 to see how it would work. Time will tell!
It was just yesterday that I promised myself that it was the last time I brought him shopping. It’s far too expensive 🙂 and yes, I don’t want to be ‘that’ mother, but I want to save him from all those ‘healthy’ things – currently chocolate bunnies – he wants… (3,5 years old boy).
Sometimes you can’t help but bring them with you. And yes, it can get expensive, hence my experiment which seems to be holding up so far. It’s a constant struggle to save my child from things she wants, in terms of food. But as she get older, I don’t want to make it into a struggle. I’m not sure it is worth it in the long run. She will eventually choose what she eats on her own. Kids have a great resiliency for calories and cholesterol, at least for now. Good luck with your struggle. Yours is way younger than mine.